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Saturday, November 16, 2013

Ups and Downs...

Warning:  This post contains information about the medical reasons behind my bed rest. 

This week has not been an easy one.  I'll begin on a positive note, though.  As of tomorrow, I will have made it through a full month of bed rest.  This is what I look like now at a little over 27 weeks (sorry for the selfie...).



This has been by far the worst week since I was put on bed rest.  First, I passed out and got sick after drinking my glucose drink for the glucose challenge test on Tuesday, and I couldn't get the necessary blood drawn since the results would be invalid.  Fortunately, my OB doesn't want me to go through the same test again.  I am going to do a different type of test next week to test my glucose levels.  Hopefully I will pass this test with flying colors, and I can enjoy my Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners!

So onto the real stuff...there are many reasons a woman can be put on bed rest during pregnancy.  I am on bed rest for a short/incompetent cervix (they are not sure which I have).  Basically, before a woman gives birth, her cervix thins and then dilates.  Mine thins early.  During my first pregnancy, I made it to 38 weeks and a few days (despite having a very short cervix for quite a while), so they aren't sure whether to consider it a "true incompetent cervix."  What I have gathered after talking to many doctors is that with this condition, they really don't know what will happen with any given woman or any given pregnancy.  However, since I had a successful first pregnancy, they remain hopeful that I can achieve the same results again.

With this pregnancy, my cervix has behaved much the same way that it did during the first one.  It had been stable for almost a month, giving me much hope and confidence.  However, on Thursday I had a cervical length check, and it has again reduced in length after being stable.  I find myself terrified now.  I am already doing everything that can be done to try to maintain my cervix and my pregnancy.  I am by nature a planner, and I do not like the unknown.  The reality is, I could go into labor at any time, or I could make it to term.  I can't explain how difficult it is to be in constant fear and doubt about whether I will go into labor early, if my baby will end up in the NICU, and if she will turn out to be a healthy little girl.  Bed rest in many ways exacerbates the feelings since I have plenty of time to let my mind wander.  Fortunately, I have mostly stuck to my self promise of staying away from google (for medical purposes) during this pregnancy!

To brighten the tone a bit, here are some pictures of the little one in all of her awesomeness:


Can you see how she's resting one leg on top of the other knee in this picture?


Don't look at me, she says (almost every time we try to take a peek!)

She allows a little peek of her face...


I'll have another check next week.  Wish us well, please!

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